wow i love this chik or whatever it prefers to be called, just so crazy. and yes she knows who my favorite serial killer is, ZODIAC. one of the only people to commit many horrific murders and not be caught. thank you and to all a good night
we miss you too.

dammit, not again.
Note me if you return.

--
I always dream of a pen that would be a syringe.

I guess I didn't make myself clear, but just in case:

FUCK YOU AND YOUR GOD

and yes, that's for you too....

well, i guess i need to be fair. i do think you write well, but, you are missing a lot by focusing only on the sex/violence part. you could even stay there but give the story more hues by using more character--personality-wise--descriptions, how they justify themselves, logical processes, etc. those will help you contextualize your story, and make the characters the escence instead of their actions: when a story lacks character development everything seems hollow and weak.

now, on the subject itself, it really seems like a desperate cry for attention, evoking your father and your girlfriend and the things they did/do to you every 4 lines is like trying to distinguish yourself through them. and the satanist stuff...well, that kind of radical behaviour is rarely authentic, and you don't seem to be an exception.

--
deviant art will ban you for being mean.

Deviant: ~satanistheway (#1
Date: 2003-05-13 18:20:10
Vote: Dislike Deviation

Cortazar, what a looser...
_________________________________

a looser? one of those who's hanging loose or something?
or did you mean a LOSER. well anyways, whos YOUR inspiration. m. manson? c. manson? huh? well, no wonder you don't know how to spell the basics, or write a decent story, one that don't depend entirely in the shock factor. go fuck your uncle or something, and think of worthwhile critisism to make for next time.






--
deviant art will ban you for being mean.

I think ... naah lemme just add you to my watch! I like what I've read and seen so far.

Later,

Groovz

--
hit this ~prosehelper and find out how to write your best prose

Father of ^inennui, Drunken uncle of ~jesusbite, Grampa of *xomatose, gusto's ! gustoboy and son of a ^ ndifference

sure still kool shit indeed.

--
My life a'int as kool as yours an more than likely i will be stabbed in my sleep by your wife. - Atmosphere

I've checked out some of your shit...i must say it's shocking and interesting, which makes it appealing...but in no way is it more original and more mature than what I've written...what surprised me is that you couldn't back up your opinion on my poem...you disgust me

--
At first I just feel sorry for you
Oblivious to all that's sacred and true
Then I feel sorry for myself too
Cause to know is to hurt
And I know I do

glad to see youre still around and still submitting

--
Every new beginning comes from some other begining's end

Have you ever had a dream, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?

What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire deviant life, that there's something wrong with the story. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.

You take the blue pill, the story ends. Your browser closes and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland. And, I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

I offer only the truth, nothing more.

Take: The Red Pill
Take: The Blue Pill

spyed, nobody has ever done this before.
I know. That's why it's going to work.



--
The Angry Deviant



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